Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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