Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
