you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
