i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your cock deserves a montage
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
