Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
