I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
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No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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