He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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