sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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