He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can text with my tongue
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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