i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
