He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
