Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
