I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
