So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
