I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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