Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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