Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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