Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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