Your mouth is God's brothel.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
