And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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