Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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