Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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