Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
