Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
