oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
