I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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