My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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