It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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