My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
