Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
