it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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