In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
