My friends, they love my intelligence
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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