I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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