My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
