i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
