so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
