she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize