were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
