She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
