well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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