I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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