I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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