I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize