Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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