super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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