Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
