Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
