After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
