He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
