So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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