"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's shark week go big or go home
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
