You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
