He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
