I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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