I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
