apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
