I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
