I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
