So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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