Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He better not be in your backpack
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize