5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
