Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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