hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
