you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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