God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
