Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
