need another drink. this is the easiest way
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
