my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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