I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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