Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
